I have a question to members who do not ever post

I will have to come back way later in the day. I am so upset. I was just about to post my rather lengthy response and it all disappeared. I'm way too tired to even try to retrieve my thoughts, and besides, I have an early morning tooth extraction. I hope you all have a blessed day!

Ya'll, this was really meant for members who do not post EVER. There are some who log in pretty regularly and their last posts have been months and/or years, yes years, ago.

Once again, I was only trying to help. I'm sorry if you view it as anything different.

Like Lori, I am through with this topic. Participate or don't, it's certainly your choice. Just don't be surprised if one day you come knocking and there is no one here to answer the door.

Joe honey - human communication can't be 100 percent upbeat cause well its human. There's no need to run because a few moments are uncomfortable.

this is always a touchy subject and we are all entitled to our feelings.

Some of us are just more invested than others. Paula is simply saying she watches but doesn't participate for the most part. Why ? Well she was once very invested and a strong part of the group but now she has other outlets for social interaction and that's fine. Some of us only have this board - some of us have kind of half and half with the real world and some are pretty busy people outside of a few minutes at a time here. Its all good.

The purpose of the thread was to bring us together not tear us apart.

humans are a strange breed sometimes


~

I've been back and forth on answering this one, as an old member who lost the address to CAPCH for over a year and have only just now had the ability, time and inclination to become an active poster again. There is certainly a reason that this seemingly innocuous question has caused such ire. I don't think posters want to:

1) Be monitored on if or when they are lurking. I certainly don't want people to know when I am online and on a board reading. Oft times, the window is open for a few days behind other windows, and I don't even realize I'm logged in to a site.

2) Be judged on if they contribute to a thread. Sometimes I just want to go to the AI thread and post about a fav performance. Sometimes I want the incredible lightness of being. Sometimes, like Chance the Gardener of "Being There," I just want to watch.

3) If I post, I find that there is a responsibility to answer responses to my response. Although this may be the goal of the administrators (an active board) many times I am overwhelmed with activities in my real life, and don't have time to monitor the board for rebut questions to my postings. Having been the recipient of hurt feelings and ire because I've let a direct response to one of my postings go unanswered, sometimes it's just easier to not respond if I'm not in a position to have a "conversation."

4) I've been on many boards that has died. One of my favs, Peoples Republic of Clay, just dried up. No more postings. Some, like FameTracker, morphed into four or five splinter boards, of which I belong to one. Some like TWoP still remains the same on the surface, but all the original monitors and administrators are gone and a new group hired by Bravo is in. It is NOT the same board at all. This very board started as a splinter group from another board, and it is in it's second home. These boards are malleable, they are plastic, they stretch and shrink and change shape. Like a hole in the ice, if there are people willing to stick their hands in the hole and stir up the slush, the hole will remain. As soon as no one is willing to stick their hand in the hole, it will freeze over. It is not the responsibly of the casual viewer to keep the hole open. It will remain open even if only two or three committed posters are willing to stick their hands in the hole.

5) You are more likely to lose the casual member if they realize they are being monitored. I don't think this is your goal, but I do think that Morgan's "Hey! Anyone out there? Say hey or you may be deleted!" is a more....friendly like....query than the, shall we say, assertive, question asked at the beginning of this thread.

There are members on this board who are invested in the other members, you are friends, confidants, and loving family. But not all the members on the board have that same commitment. You can accept the lurkers as the odd uncle who shows up every other Christmas but never sends a card, or you can insist that the uncle fully participate in the family, and let him know that you are keeping track..... I donno, I like hearing from my odd uncle when he does show up, and take comfort from his keeping abreast of the family's doings even if we don't hear about his.

On that note, I have an article on deadline I need to write, and I will not be able to respond to this posting. I hope no one is hurt or put out by any lack of response on my part to this.

Well lets all try to stick our hands in the slush a bit more and lets also try to give Susan a break here. She was newly made an assistant and is learning the hard way here just how fun it can be.


All it boils down to is use it or lose it and well some of us really, really love it and don't want to lose it so we whine a bit in the hopes of making others feel the same.

At least it got a good discussion going - even a little arguing - which is better to me than silence

so Good Job Susan ! But I bet you never post this again - lolol


I love ya. Don't let this scare you.


I love you all. Even the hit and run guys !


~

spongy wrote:

I don't think posters want to:

1) Be monitored on if or when they are lurking. I certainly don't want people to know when I am online and on a board reading. Oft times, the window is open for a few days behind other windows, and I don't even realize I'm logged in to a site.

2) Be judged on if they contribute to a thread. Sometimes I just want to go to the AI thread and post about a fav performance. Sometimes I want the incredible lightness of being. Sometimes, like Chance the Gardener of "Being There," I just want to watch.

yeah that Spongy!

I am on the board about 15 min a day (on my break at work lurking), and then sometimes I might pop on in the evening...that's it! I used to be a more frequent flier, but that's when I lived at home alone and this was my outlet. I am simply saying I am not here as much, that's all. Joe's comment seemed to be directly squarely at me, so I responded. He has since told me it was not. Maybe I'm too sensitive but I surely don't want anyone to leave the board, least of all HIM.

My apologies to anyone's feelings I've hurt

spongy wrote:

I've been back and forth on answering this one, as an old member who lost the address to CAPCH for over a year and have only just now had the ability, time and inclination to become an active poster again. There is certainly a reason that this seemingly innocuous question has caused such ire. I don't think posters want to:

1) Be monitored on if or when they are lurking. I certainly don't want people to know when I am online and on a board reading. Oft times, the window is open for a few days behind other windows, and I don't even realize I'm logged in to a site.

2) Be judged on if they contribute to a thread. Sometimes I just want to go to the AI thread and post about a fav performance. Sometimes I want the incredible lightness of being. Sometimes, like Chance the Gardener of "Being There," I just want to watch.

3) If I post, I find that there is a responsibility to answer responses to my response. Although this may be the goal of the administrators (an active board) many times I am overwhelmed with activities in my real life, and don't have time to monitor the board for rebut questions to my postings. Having been the recipient of hurt feelings and ire because I've let a direct response to one of my postings go unanswered, sometimes it's just easier to not respond if I'm not in a position to have a "conversation."

4) I've been on many boards that has died. One of my favs, Peoples Republic of Clay, just dried up. No more postings. Some, like FameTracker, morphed into four or five splinter boards, of which I belong to one. Some like TWoP still remains the same on the surface, but all the original monitors and administrators are gone and a new group hired by Bravo is in. It is NOT the same board at all. This very board started as a splinter group from another board, and it is in it's second home. These boards are malleable, they are plastic, they stretch and shrink and change shape. Like a hole in the ice, if there are people willing to stick their hands in the hole and stir up the slush, the hole will remain. As soon as no one is willing to stick their hand in the hole, it will freeze over. It is not the responsibly of the casual viewer to keep the hole open. It will remain open even if only two or three committed posters are willing to stick their hands in the hole.

5) You are more likely to lose the casual member if they realize they are being monitored. I don't think this is your goal, but I do think that Morgan's "Hey! Anyone out there? Say hey or you may be deleted!" is a more....friendly like....query than the, shall we say, assertive, question asked at the beginning of this thread.

There are members on this board who are invested in the other members, you are friends, confidants, and loving family. But not all the members on the board have that same commitment. You can accept the lurkers as the odd uncle who shows up every other Christmas but never sends a card, or you can insist that the uncle fully participate in the family, and let him know that you are keeping track..... I donno, I like hearing from my odd uncle when he does show up, and take comfort from his keeping abreast of the family's doings even if we don't hear about his.

On that note, I have an article on deadline I need to write, and I will not be able to respond to this posting. I hope no one is hurt or put out by any lack of response on my part to this.

Great, well-thought out post, Spongy and directly responsive to the question as to possible reasons "why." Welcome back!!!

Totally don't understand the use-it or lose it concept or the door being shut one day when the more casual poster returns since the only people who would be upset would be the ones who do post daily/often....the casual poster would just move on. So rather than, as Sponge points out, be monitored for lurking, judged for not posting goodwill, feel responsible to respond to something when you know you may not be coming back for awhile, wouldn't it be better for those who are invested to take it for what it is; post among themselves as much as they want and make the casual "lurker" feel welcome.

As Sponge wisely states, It is not the responsibly of the casual viewer to keep the hole open. It will remain open even if only two or three committed posters are willing to stick their hands in the hole.

Or it won't.

Thanks for your honesty, sponge.

If you knew me you would laugh at calling me (or my question) assertive because I don’t have an assertive bone in my body. Although, with being on a new diet and exercise regimen, I am feeling a little more feisty these days!

I’m not currently, nor have I ever monitored anyone. I didn’t even know that information was available. I was curious and decided to look; this is the first time I have ever looked at members’ posting information.

If I respond to any of your other comments, I will just be repeating things I’ve already said, so I shall let it go at this.

Rest assured, Morgan, my lip is zipped on this subject!! You can fire me if you like.

I sincerely apologize to anyone who I have offended.

Personally, there are points in Spongy's comments that I don't agree with or accept. I currently have no motivation to hash them out except to say that I'm not going to sit in the freezing cold water without some company while others sit outside of the whole with a nice warm fuzzy blanket around them.


I totally hate this phrase, but it seems to apply . "It is what it is."

It takes a village to raise a child . . .


no wait . . . thats not it. . . . .


but it does take investment to create friendships


No one is monitoring what others are doing . . . they are simply wondering why some people don't feel the need to talk to us.

call it insecurity





But i think what Susan was trying to do is feel out the reason why some don't post and try to fix whatever problem there might be. I'm sure it was not meant as an accusation.

Use the board in whatever way is comfortable to you. But remember, if you make a habit of 'read and run' there will come a day when there is nothing to read. Just think about it.


Susan. . .I love ya. Every assistant has tried a post like this and gotten bit in the arse with it. Welcome to the club.

"It is not the responsibly of the casual viewer to keep the hole open."

Whose responsibility is it if not the members? When you join a membership, whether it is online or real life isn’t it because you enjoy the subject and/or activities and want to participate?

If this board fizzled out, I know there are some who would say see ya and there are others who would be upset. I guess it depends on which side of the fence you’re on as far as that goes.

Morgan is correct - I was not trying to offend anyone. Call it curiousity and wanting to help, that's all.

You have 35 posts and 285 views on a thread about posting more often. You can look at that as either the glass is half full or nine-tenths empty.

I think it is unreasonable to expect everyone’s involvement and input to be at the same level; however, these kind of threads likely make people who (for whatever reason) do not care to post even more reluctant to do so. If someone is told or reads that their involvement is making someone else feel insecure about their own posts, I would imagine in some cases, they would feel very unwelcome and not come around at all. I don't think that is what anyone wants, but if you will just read this thread, it should be apparent that these types of questions, however well-intended, are counterproductive from either point of view.

basket hates the phrase, it is what it is, but it very likely is true in this situation. If someone is interested in the subject or has an opinion, they will post. If they are curious but not involved either way, they will just read and perhaps follow the thread. Sometimes, it really is what it is.

That may be true but exploring the reasons why people don't post could possibly be very productive and I think that was the point of the thread.

I see no reason for anyone to get defensive. If you're too busy to answer - ok. If you're not interested - ok.

But just like in the real world, friendships need at least a small amount of attention to remain friendships and that's all we are suggesting here. I think we've grown way beyond the fan news site we once were.

I think we all understand that there are those like Sponge and Jersey that come sporadically for the tv discussions and little else. That's cool. We love seeing them.

As for the prayer type threads I stated an opinion on earlier - if someone read the thread, to me - its no different then someone telling you in person something like my husband just had a heart attack. Would you turn and walk away without saying a single word ? We are all long time ' friends ' here - or relationships of some sort. I just don't think you would. I gotta wonder why some do it here. It's not an accusation, its a simple I don't get it.


If they never open those kind of threads then ok fine - don't open them. You don't have to - its a fan board. The problem comes when people see the high post count and low volume of responses on something so important.

Again I don't think the post count can be relied on and I'd turn the thing off if I knew how.



But again the purpose of the thread I believe is to explore why the posts are not interesting enough to get response so that it can be fixed. No one is pointing fingers at anyone. Once everyone gets past that defensive feeling, maybe they can participate in making this a better place to read and play.



~

I'm not going to make a big deal out of this, and I'm not going to take my ball and go home. You asked for reasoning on why some people don't post, and I tried to list some of the reasons, at least to my mind. The bottom line that people don't post because they don't want to.

From there the ball is in your court. If you insist that posting is a prerequisite for being a member of the board, then you delete anyone who hasn't posted in a year, say. If you are not going to make that a prerequisite, then you will have lurkers.

Quote :

"It is not the responsibly of the casual viewer to keep the hole open."

Whose responsibility is it if not the members? When you join a membership, whether it is online or real life isn't it because you enjoy the subject and/or activities and want to participate?

If I joined a group and found that I was only able to attend twice a year, but felt that I was welcome those two times, I'd still be a member. If I was made to feel bad because I wasn't participating to the degree of those more motivated, I'd quit. This is the problem with bring up this subject. You are not going to be able to get a number (probably a majority) of your membership to participate beyond lurking or infrequent posting. It is not just this board, it is all boards....it is all groups of people, it is all committees.

Now I'm going to change the gist of the subject a quarter turn. How do you get people who are lurkers to post? You can't. I suppose you could try to post fun threads, or controversial threads, or Hot Ticket/Hot Wire threads, or sexy threads, but it won't make a difference. You are manipulating the natural order of a board by trying to get more members to post. You already know who will post, you already have stasis. Joe and Millie, Lady Gaga, AI and Dancing with the stars, Adam Lambert and Clay Aiken, of course. There is a natural interest in these subjects, and the regulars that contribute. And SURPRISE! Sometimes Kitty appears! Or Paulareenee! Or even old Sponge! And this is good! but then Kitty gets busy, and AI ends and well, the infrequents kind of peel off. I suppose you can lament the fear that someday when no one is any longer interested, the board will die, but I'm just being the devil's advocate here, because you asked, and tell you that the board will remain open as long as Morgan, and basket and Susan and Joe and Chintzy and the regulars chose to be involved. The board does not exist for the lurkers, it exists for you, the regulars, the ones who have friends and family here.

Part of me is tempted to erase some if not all of this post. I've had my finger on the delete button more than once. I haven't been here for a very long time. It feels uncomfortable to enter the fray on this. It would be far easier to just stay out of it. I'd just watch AI tonight and blather about the doings in Hollywood...or not, as the case may be. But I felt that the question was well meaning and the motive was pure. I have tried to be honest in my answer..and hope it helps in some way..

Hi Sponge! Nice to see you again.

*******************************************************

Just wondering out loud how my name keeps getting brought up by people (not you, Sponge) on this thread? I must be really a handful, eh?

This is my last visit to this thread. Promise! Just want to leave by saying I made a statement of generalization regarding people not saying "happy birthday" (wow...that took so long to type! LOL) or "good luck" if someone is dealing with something difficult.

How anyone could think I posted it about one certain individual is totally beyond my comprehension.

Now, I'm stepping away. If anyone wants to say anything to me or about me on this thread from hereon in, please copy & paste and send it to me in a private message, because I've promised myself to not read this thread anymore.

I'm going to enjoy, instead, the fact that AI is on tonight and that, for the first time in 2 wks & 3 days, I was able to drive in my car.

Above all, I posted an opinion, not an accusation. And with that....later....and peace! To all. Even you lurkers! LOL

"The board does not exist for the lurkers, it exists for you, the regulars, the ones who have friends and family here."

Now, that makes sense. Thanks Sponge.

But, and you knew there would be one , lurkers could become regulars and have friends and family here too if they wanted. I guess the point is, they don't, and that's what I will just have to learn to understand.

This is a round robin thread

we are all discussing a whole different topic in my opinion and all that is being accomplished is hurt feelings

sooooooooo Susan - you now have a delete key. Its up to you - its your thread - just remember you can use it if you want to and make a new post saying Sorry - I chose to delete my own post or something similar without starting the discussion again hopefully.

up to you






~~~

Pondering as I look around for that delete key...lol

Hmmm... interesting question... and I have to say that I haven't read all the messages....

First- Joe, sent you a PM. :)

Second... I pop in and post when I can... but I honestly only pop in once a week, if that... so many of you are on my Facebook friends list and it's just easier for me to keep up with people that way. When I do pop in and see that I've missed someone's birthday I feel guilty.... (Ummm... happy belated birthday, susan....) I don't really look at it as the board ending or whatever, I kind of look at it as a change of venue... sort of when we came over to this board from MSN... I keep up with all of you in a different way. I've been a member of this board for a very long time and would hate to be considered as a "lurker" considering the personal relationships I've formed over the years.... but when I originally joined the board I had one child and a husband who was still in school.... (Can't believe you guys have been a part of three of my pregnancies!) It seems a lot of things that used to be top priority (like checking in here) get put on the backburner sometimes... (ask me the last time I did any writing!) But, I do care for all of you...

This wasn't meant for you at all Rebecca. With four small children, a hubby, and a home to take care of it's a wonder that you have time for anything - but I know they are your world and that is the way it should be. I hope your beauties are all doing well. Thanks for your reply.

I know... But, I do wish I was here more often...I miss so much... but I do love you guys and think of you guys often...

My beauties are all well... wish I could get better pics of Piper... but if she even sees me whip out my camera she starts blinking rapidly in anticipation of the flash... so she ends up looking drunk in half of the pics I take! hahaha!

It looks like this thread was started while I was MIA. While I was being blue and feeling sorry for myself. Stupid time to be away from your friends but unfortunately, I didn't feel like talking so I just stayed away. I haven't even read through this entire thread so I'm not sure what everyone had to say.
I have been guilty of popping in and out without responding. I try not to do that because I hurt someone's feelings once before and I swore it would never happen again.
I don't think I pay attention that much to the post count so I guess the things that are bothering some of you aren't affecting me. When I come here, I usually check to see who else is here and what threads have posts in them that are new. I'm also guilty of forgetting about the other sections of the board. I always check out Meeting Place and sometimes the AI thread because there are lots of other shows that we discuss there. But I seldom check the others. There are also some threads that I don't open at all. Because I feel like I'd be intruding, I seldom open a thread that has a person's name in the title. Like Joe's thread. I checked it out a couple of times but I felt like I didn't belong there. So I probably miss lots of stuff about people because of it. So if you never see me post in those threads, you now know why.

I have noticed that since I've been back that I've missed a few people. I don't go to many other boards so I don't know where they are. I belong to quite a few other boards, but this is my home. This is the only place I feel comfortable. There's another private board I belong to and I post very little and it's always Clay related. I would never talk about the personal stuff that I've shared here with all of you.
I probably should have read this entire thread before I said anything because it probably won't even make any sense but I just wanted to say something. This thread btw is one of those threads I hardly ever check out. I don't very often see any action here. I didn't notice there had been action here before today.
Now I'll go back and read the rest of the thread.

some times i just feel like reading. not posting
just to see what is going on. if i see something that really spikes my interest i will post
but some times i am just L A Z Y

OMG I had no idea this thread was still around...lol I tell ya one thing, it got the most responses out of any thread I have ever posted...lol