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Morgan Rowan
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PostSubject: I am afraid to post topics   Wed Dec 10, 2014 8:39 pm

I have tried for many years now to spark conversation and to keep this board moving by posting current topics. Lately it seems that everything I say is insulted, ignored or suggested that I bring down the joy of the board. Im not sure just how that happened. I have felt loved and respected here for many years but lately I feel a growing sense of unwelcome.

Im not going to post another long pity party...frankly, I think few of you care how I feel. Not all of course. Some of you have huge hearts and probably wonder what Im talking about. But others seem blissfully unaware of the hurtful things you have said to me or about me. Maybe I dont seem like a real person to you...who knows.

My point is, its going to be up to all of you to keep the board moving and finding interesting things to post. I have no doubt that you can do it if you try. I guess we will just see what happens.

I will still post "news" that only I have such as the post about Little John. Im sure I will still continue to respond to threads started by others. I cant help it...my heart still lives here. But I will no longer spend hours trying to find interesting current events to discuss or games to play or pages of my memories to share since it is no longer well recieved.

I do fear that the board will slowly fade away. Ive fought long and hard to make sure it didnt but I wont be able to stop that from happening anymore. You either find things to talk aboit or you dont. I hope you all take some time to make it happen because it will break my heart even more if the love and support that has been the gift of this board disappears...but it seems there is little I can do about it. im sure you are all tired of hearing me cry. I will try to do it quiter from here on....





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abasketcase
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Wed Dec 10, 2014 9:15 pm

I can't say I've ever spent hours looking for stuff to post, nor could I. I just post stuff I happen to come across or hear about.

If it feels like a chore to come here (I've felt that way from time to time just a BIT) then it's time to step back a bit - that's how I feel personally for MYSELF.

No excuses for me. If I'm not here quite as much it's because I'm overall trying to spend less time online and my responsibilities at work are increasingly increasing! I'm diving into a lot of new projects so I'm trying to limit the number of times I jump online - anywhere!

As I've always felt, if you come, you should post and particpate.
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Morgan Rowan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Wed Dec 10, 2014 9:45 pm

It hasnt been a chore...its a labor of love. I truly love this board and everything it has created. I wouldnt expect anyone to invest as I have, Im simply saying I dont feel that my threads are welcome and so I will limit them to just news and let others steer the future of the board. I just worry where that will lead. Right now there are about fifteen people a day that sign in and many dont post. ?..I assume because theres nothing new to look at. You do a great job, Lori, of starting posts, lets see if anyone else does.
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BeccaRose

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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:44 pm

No one should be afraid to post here....

I understand that it must be a labor of love to continue to try to come up with things to post. I think that it opens anyone up for hurt feelings if they scour the internet looking for things to post, and then no one responds... it's bound to be disheartening. We've all, over the years, made posts that have gone unnoticed.... but it's harder to not take it personally when you spend so much time intentionally trying to come up with things to post. That being said, my suggestion is to just let it come naturally... if you see something noteworthy that you want to share, then share it... Don't go looking for things to post. Just let it come, naturally.... and expect that the rest of us will do the same.
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Morgan Rowan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Thu Dec 11, 2014 1:27 am

It worked just fine for the last twelve  or so years but lately it seems the threads I post upset people and Ive been hurt too many times lately so short of news flashes. That only I have ..you guys are on your own.

And you are right...no one should be afraid to post topics here...but I am.  Pretty ironic isnt it.
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GammmaC

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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Thu Dec 11, 2014 6:51 am

I don't think anyone should be afraid to post here, but there are times when no one responses, or maybe takes something the wrong way. But we are "family", here, so it is possible that sometimes a member may disagree or get hurt. I don't think anyone intentionally means to hurt anyone here. So, please do not stop posting altogether. We are all still important on this board, especially, our founder. ht
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amainachen

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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Thu Dec 11, 2014 7:59 pm

Morgan everyone should post so just keep doing it. We know you are the mother if the board and are needed here as much as everyone.
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joechgo1

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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Thu Dec 11, 2014 8:11 pm

I'm just going to say this and then back all the way outta this. I am so NOT up to any kind of confrontation.

I think the handful of us who post here do a very good job of posting things. There are only about 10 of us who post on any kind of regular basis. It bothers me when we are chastised into posting more. The people who have posted the most things on the board are #1 Lori and #2 me, so I think we do our best.

Also, Morgan, if you are dancing around calling me out, just go ahead and do it. I think it is quite obvious to everyone that you are talking about me when you post these sweeping generalizations.

Also, I come on the computer once a day for the most part. I put up messages that I think are interesting or newsworthy. I have stopped posting so much personal stuff since the last disagreement a few months ago when I was scolded for talking about people who don't bother about any of us or haven't posted here in years.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't just don't get all the drama that some of these types of messages bring about.
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Morgan Rowan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Thu Dec 11, 2014 9:05 pm

Joe, this is not about you.  Not sure why you think it would be.  And I dont agree that you and Lori post the most.  I post a great deal, so does Rose and  Susan and when she can Catz posts more than all of us so sorry, this is not aimed at you.  If it were Id say so. I kmow you have been angry with me for awhile now but NEWSFLASH...Im not angry with you.  But yes, you do ignore me and I find that sad but hey, so does most eceryone else so dont feel special.

I simply dont like the way Im being treated on the board.
I feel like I cant do or say anything right.


This is not about forcing anyone to post its about simple, basic, common courtesy between friends.

I dont seem to be worthy of your time anymore and I find it very hurtful. I dont feel anyone uses simple courtesy with me.  Its like we are at a party and I told a story and you simply walked away.   When you answer the phone and listen to what someone has to say...you at least well up an uh huh...you dont just hang up and move on.  Simple courtesy.....for everyone....not just the people you like the best....everyone.  Faye made me feel more welcome last night than most of you that I have shared with for years.  Not everyone of course but certainly more of you than I ever expected.

Im just really, really hurt and frustrated and dont know what to do about it.



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Last edited by Morgan Rowan on Fri Dec 12, 2014 12:33 am; edited 2 times in total
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Morgan Rowan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Thu Dec 11, 2014 9:33 pm

Moving this to the Kitchen so you can choose whether to read it or not without having it mixed in with other threads.
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joechgo1

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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Fri Dec 12, 2014 12:14 pm

You are so insulting and then complain that you are the one insulted.

Yes indeed I've been angry with you. You treated me like crap just a couple months ago. I do NOT deserve that.

I'll say it again....there aren't that many people who post here anymore. It's just a few of us. And you are the only one who has a problem.

You have shown so much favortism on the board in the past year or so. And then you complain about the rest of us.

I'm sorry you feel hurt, but I am not out to hurt you. I get very tired of all the drama, the threats, the complaining that we don't post enough. Oh, and I'll look it up again....although I found it by mistake, but there is somewhere on here that shows who has posted the most, and that is Lori, and the person who posted the second most is me. I'll try to find it again so you can remove "this is not all about you Joe" from your vocabulary. I get really sick and tired of you saying that. Since you're complaining about us and not calling anyone out by name, it truly doesn't take a lot of brain matter to figure out who you are talking about.

And what the heck was the comment "Clay probably loved what Joe posted." What does that mean?
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Fri Dec 12, 2014 12:18 pm

I'm also ticked that you keep moving threads all around.

Okay, you can add up the totals yourself, but from my calculations, Lori is #1 via 2 different nicknames (because she had to change her nickname once) and I am #2. So quit preaching to us especially that we need to post more often. We both post more than you do.

I hate to have to pull out proof, but you don't believe what I say so I had to. Read it and weep.

http://clickchicks.niceboard.com/memberlist
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Morgan Rowan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Fri Dec 12, 2014 12:47 pm

Ok so you post the most...how does that make this all about you?

As for my comment about Clay, IDont think its hard to understand or certainly not insulting. Which would Clay rather read...middle aged women talking sexually about him or literally anything that a man said. Come on, Joe...you are just looking for a fight.

Im hurt. Hurt me more or help me....you're choice. The same goes for every other member of the board.

And thank you for those who have made an effort to interact with me more so that I dont feel so shut out. I appreciate it.

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Susan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Fri Dec 12, 2014 1:00 pm

Morgan, I made a thread about members not responding to threads many years ago when we had a LOT of members not long after you made me an assistant. I tried to find it but I can't remember the title of the thread and just don't have the time to look for it. I got blasted by some for even bringing up the subject.  I, personally have never understood why those who open up a thread don't make some kind of comment, even if just to leave a smiley face.  On the other hand, if I (talking about myself only) can tell what a thread is about by the title and it is of no interest to me than I'm not going to open and read it.  However, If I read a thread I always (or at least I make a conscious effort to) comment.

Perhaps some of your threads, like everyone's at times, does not catch everyone's interest.  If they do read it and don't post, then that's another thing.  However, you can't force people to post on threads.  There are other circumstances why threads are read and not responded to.   For example, there may be some, such as myself, who are at work and log on for a minute to read threads but don't post because I don't have time at that particular moment.  Or in Phyllis' case she only has so much data per month and cannot afford to sit and post on every thread - she only has time to read them at any given time.  

Just a little perspective.  Everyone here has a good heart and I don't believe would purposefully ignore you.
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Fri Dec 12, 2014 1:40 pm

I'm not looking for a fight. I've said several times that I'm not up for any kind of confrontation. I'm having a difficult time this year with the holidays, but I've kept it to myself. So, arguing is not what I'm all about. HOWEVER, you basically called me a liar over who posts the most, so I had to post proof so that you would know that I didn't just make it all up.....and then you respond by (pardon the expression) making it all about you! LOL This is f'ing hilarious!

I've sat here and typed very very long messages and sometimes only get a word or an icon in response, or, at times, no response at all. That happens on message boards. I also don't click on all threads. If I click on one, I comment.

I am bowing out of these kinds of threads. It almost sounds like you think some of us are horrendous monsters or something. I just don't get it and I never will.

Wishing you peace, but I am done commenting on these topics. I will not come back to see anything that is posted in response.

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Morgan Rowan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Fri Dec 12, 2014 5:51 pm

Joe, I did not call you a liar and never would...my point was lots of people post a lot. You were right you have the highest post count. I certainly didnt think you were lying. Again, this was not about you. It was about being overlooked and shunned. Do I Think you guys do it on purpose? No. Do I see it happening and hurt from it...yes.

Thank you, Susan for your calm words of wisdom.

......

I know I cant make anyone love me by demanding it. I would just like to feel loved and appreciated like I once did. I dont think Ive changed. This isnt happening to me anywhere else in my life.

Part of the problem is that I am a wimp. I make a decision and others dont like it and I suffer. I shouldnt be like that. These threads belong in the Kitchen where they can be avoided. That was a good decision and Im standing by it. My post topics tend to be controversial to invite discussion and lately thats not welcome so I have stopped posting topics Thats a good decision. I need to learn to just do it and not be swayed by the backlash.

It seems obvious to me that Im asking for love and support even if its a dramatic, obnoxious way that I do it. I say again and again that I am hurt. Cant someone stop telling me that my feelings arent valid and just stand by me and be my friend? I dont get it. If someone else posted they were hurt and feeling left out, there would be an outpouring of love an attention on that person until they got over it. But when I say it....well...that just doesnt happen often. Sometimes...but more often the responses are just more hurtful. I dont understand why I am treated any different.

I get so close to walking away and shutting down but the rest of you love each other so much I cant. I hope the board continues to be a source of love and comfort to its members. I just wish it was all its members.


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Susan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:35 pm

I think the problem is that we (or I) don't understand why you are hurt. I thought it was because not everyone was posting on your threads, but it sounds deeper than that. Maybe you should consider pm'ing the person(s) who hurt you and speak to them directly. If I did something, please do!

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Morgan Rowan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Fri Dec 12, 2014 8:37 pm

I get over things really easily...you would be surprised. Its not a fight with anyone in particular. Its just about respect and common courtesy. I know some people are going to like some people best but that doesnt mean they have to talk to only those people and ignore others.

Yes, I do feel like my posts are ignored. I get it...sometimes Im just plain boring and people skip my posts...thats not the problem. Its when twenty people open the threadc and no one bothers to say a word. Its when everyone is talking on a thread but no one is talking to me. Its when someone actually posts something hurtful to me and not another soul stands up and says....hey, wait a minute.....she doesnt deserve that. Ive stood by all of you for years and jumped in many times to defend someone. Its when I make a decision as manager and its not respected...instead Im treated like an idiot for considering it. Its a lot of daily things that just make me feel either invisible or unloved.

I hope it just corrects itself now. I dont know what else to do. As for the personal disagreements I have had with people I did takke it to PM and deat with it directly. They can like me or not like me thats their choice but as long as anyone is a member here I expect them to trat everyone with respect...like them or not. Its always been that way.

I appreciate your help, Susan. I know you know how it feels to get a backlash. Ill give your posts some thought.


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Susan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Mon Dec 15, 2014 10:54 am

Hope you are feeling better about things. rose
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Morgan Rowan
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PostSubject: Re: I am afraid to post topics   Mon Dec 15, 2014 1:17 pm

Thank you...Im sure I cant keep my mouth shut for long Very Happy
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